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For those who don’t get the joke (seemingly everyone I know), the title refers to a line in the movie Spinal Tap, in which lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel informs journalist Marti DiBergi that his Marshall amplifier head is “one louder” because the volume knob is numbered from one to eleven, instead of one to ten like a regular production model.

There you have it. I have now had a spinal tap. Also known as a lumbar or dural puncture, it’s a test used to identify issues involving cerebral-spinal fluid, the stuff that keeps your brain afloat in your head and prevents concussions from occuring when you move your head around. The actual spinal tap procedure is not particularly painful. If you’re me, it doesn’t really hurt at all. Removing the needle is more painful than inserting it. Et cetera. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep the reasons for the test private. The results were  completely negative, which should suffice.

All of this is not sounding especially exciting, is it? Certainly not enough for a blog post from this somewhat reluctant blogger. You are correct, so far, the whole spinal tap thing is, frankly, another boring medical procedure that people occasionally have to undergo. You go to the doctor’s office, sign some forms, and get poked in the back. Typically using 22g Quincke needle, between L4 and L5. About 5ml of fluid is removed, you lay down and rest for a little bit and then you go your merry way.

My neurologist, a rather studied dude who carefully answered my questions about the procedure, was rather business-like throughout the whole affair. The actual puncture is a very routine procedure, one done by neurologists  on a very regular basis. It is the full Monty, while the more common epidural insertion is the specialty of anesthesiologists. In an epidural, care is taken to avoid a dural puncture, because firstly, it’s not necessary, and secondly, well, it can cause issues.

The issue in question here is called the Post-Dural-Puncture Headache. It’s why you have to sign that release form before the test.

What? you don’t take apart your motorcycle on your birthday? Well, I do. Pics are for the rest of the brave F650-riding community. You can see the placement of the three switch diodes, and the BMS diode in the wiring tray and harness. Next up is the actual diodes, which are ultrasonically bonded to the tabs. This is a decent method of fixturing, but as with all mechanical fixturing, it’s prone to fracture. The result? A No Run or No Start condition that is one heck of a pain to diagnose.

There are a lot of firsts in motorcycling – the first big lean, the first successful evasive maneuver, the first time to split lanes. This is a picture of the right side footpeg on my F650GSa, freshly ground. The pegs on the F are spring-loaded and retract under contact, so the grind is less of an event than it is on most bikes running fixed pegs.

Grinding is a weird sensation. If your foot is positioned properly (toe tucked in), you only feel the vibration through the bike.  You can hear the metal grinding away, and it’s a bit surprising. It was one of those “oh, that’s what that is like” moments.

I think I want to do it again on the other side.

After being told that my packages were undeliverable, I did what scientists due: I researched it. I called the USPS station that delivers to my house in Michigan and asked them if the address was good. It took me a while to get there, at least three phone calls, but Jeremy answered the phone and asked me right off the bat, was I getting any mail there. Yeah, I get baskets of junk mail. Then, dude, the address is good. We deliver if the address is good. Your address is fine, ma’am. You have a good carrier and that route is a nice one. Thank you for confirming, Jeremy.

I called Aetna back. This time, I asked for a supervisor, who swore up and down she would call back in 40 minutes. After about two hours, I called again, and as usual, the third time was the charm. I somehow to get connected to the actual pharmacy service (instead of “customer” service), and spoke to a guy who not only could see the entire file, but started from scratch with the data, checking and double-checking the address information. We got as far as the ZIP code when he asked me if my town was near Akron, MI.

Any modern piece of software that ends up printing a shipping label has a neat feature called ZIP code cross-check. This automatically populates the city field based on the ZIP code entered. Pharmacy guy found the error with minimal effort – the city that was typed into the manual entry field was different than the city from the ZIP code, because the ZIP code had not been transcribed properly. One digit was off.

I’ve reconfirmed that address with at least five Aetna reps over the last two months. Not one of them noticed the ZIP code error. This kind of issue is what software is supposed to fix for us – to reduce the impact of human error. In this case, the software worked fine. But apparently it required its user to understand the importance of what it was doing. This is just more proof that there is still no cure for stupid.

I live in Germany (duh). My generous employer contracts with Aetna International to manage my health care benefits.  This has produced some rather funny phone calls that have left me with a serious case of indigestion. Most focus around the pharmacy benefit – Aetna’s international plan strongly recommends that participants use the Aetna mail-order pharmacy to save costs. Sounds good, right? Until you discover that they don’ t ship out of the country.

My first go-around with these people centered around two reps at the pharmacy call center who were sure that Aetna shiped to Germany “all the time”. I repeatedly told both of them that NO, I DO NOT LIVE ON AN AIRBASE. I HAVE A GERMAN POST CODE. Both swore up and down that this was no problem. Four weeks later, I was sitting in the office of a German doctor, begging in broken German for a maintenance medication that is so rarely prescribed over here that she had to call a pharmacy to see if it was even available! It turned out to cost four times what the US generic price is due to being unusual.

Once I had some meds, I returned to the phone. Since not only does the US Government prohibit US pharmacies from shipping out of the country (APOs and FPOs are technically US addresses, so don’t count), Aetna refuses to allow its reps to make international calls, severely limiting the contact options for those customers living overseas. Once I determined (I had about 6 hours into phone calls at this point) that I was on my own, I figured out that I could get the meds shipped to my job and the kind staff in shipping would forward them to me.

This worked fine, until the USPS decided that I no longer lived at my house.

I am a Organometallic chemist, and my chief interest is is the interaction of hetero-atomic molecules with transition metals, specifically copper, zinc, and iron. Hetero-atomic molecules are those that include atoms such as sulphur and nitrogen in addition to carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. I like to examine the electrochemistry of the metal surface and how it changes when certain hetero-atomic molecules are brought into contact with it under a variety of conditions such as pressure, sliding and wear. I am particularly interested in the Extreme Pressure (EP) elements- Sulphur, Phosphorus, and Chlorine.

The boundary regime of lubrication is also of interest to me, specifically the area of the transition from Elastohydrodynamic lubrication (EHDL) through the Thin Film (TFL) regime, and into the Boundary regime. I hope to do a lot of work in this area one day. The research group in Mechnical Engineering at the Imperial College of London, headed up by Dr. Hugh Spikes, is a good place to start if you would like to learn more about this area of study.

I also like to investigate the oxidation of aluminum when I am not otherwise occupied

If you would like a copy of any of these, please email your request.

“A tank gone bad: an Investigation of the failure modes of copper wire Drawing Lubricants;” Helmetag, K; Wire Journal International, June 1998

“Aluminum wire Drawing Filtration;” Scalise, J, Helmetag, K; Wire Journal International; September, 2000

“There’s Gold in those Tanks! Getting the Most from Your Aluminum Wire Drawing Oil;” Conference Proceedings of the IWCMW; 2000

“A New Look at an Old Idea: the Torque Curve Revisited;” Helmetag, K; Bench Testing of Industrial Fluid Lubricants for use in Machinery Applications; STP 1404; American Society of Testing and Materials; 2001

“Effective Molecular Weight Considerations in Thin Film Lubrication of Grafted Polymers;” Helmetag, K; Proposal for Oral Candidacy Examination; Drexel University; 1999

“Supplemental Research on Effective Molecular Weight Considerations in Thin Film Lubrication of Grafted Polymers;” Supplement to Proposal for Oral Candidacy Examination; Drexel University; 1999